Friendship

I was sitting at breakfast this morning after a fantastic row on the Yarra River.  I was sitting with 9 other women and our coach (the only male in the group), we were celebrating his birthday.  It was the most perfect morning with the sun shining, 24 degrees, but very humid and everyone was happy and relaxed.  It suddenly struck me how fortunate I am to have friends like these women in my life!  We come from all different backgrounds and walks of life yet there is something that binds us together.  You could say it was the rowing, but I don't believe that.  Rowing is what brought us together but there is more to it than that.  That is what got me thinking.    It isn't difficult to take the first step to friendship.  All it takes is something that you may have in common, like rowing.

Then I started thinking about all my other friends and it is true we all have something in common, some like or dislike which ties us to that person.

The funniest thing is that for those of us using technology mediums (and that would be most of us), such as Facebook, we ask people to be our "Friend".  But how many of these people really are true friends?  I think that most of them are "Aquaintances".  A true friend is someone who knows your dreams, your beliefs and the song in your heart.  They will be there for you always, in happy times and in sad times.

Cheryl and I at Christmas

My best friend Cheryl, lives so far away but she is always in my heart.  No matter how long it has been since we have been together we seem to pick up right where we left off.  It isn't like we haven't seen each other in a couple of years, rather, it's like we saw each other the day before.  I think that our friendship has stood the test of time and distance because a good and lasting friendship demands respect, courtesy and understanding.  Something that we both have for each other.  I think I could get through life without many things but my life without friendship would be unbearable.


I read a quote somewhere "Birth gives us life, but friendship gives us something to live for."  The power of friendship is amazing so I would like to thank all those women who are my friends.  Friendship doesn't just fall into our laps, it takes time to nurture.  But once we have that friendship it is difficult to wriggle out of it!

Don't wait until your friend is leaving to discover just how special they are to you and make sure you tell them.  To all my friend's thank you for being you!

The Lost Art of Conversation

It has been a couple of weeks since my last blog and I will blame that on the fact that I had friends and family to see and New Years to celebrate.  This is what I want to concentrate on for this blog, New Years Eve.

Russ and I have never really been New Years celebratory people.  It seems to me that it is just another reason to have a party and get drunk.  I can think of better things to celebrate and not necessarily get drunk!  But I decided that while we were in Canada that we would have a lovely evening by staying at a lovely hotel right on Lake Ontario at the foot of the city of Toronto.  I then found out they were having a dinner in the restaurant at the top of the hotel on the 38th floor.  I always remember this restaurant as being a revolving restaurant, but alas they have stopped it from revolving.  Not to worry I booked it anyhow and at $150 per person for a 6 course meal I hoped that it would be fantastic!  Now I have never ever paid that much for a meal in my life and I now know that I will never pay that again! 

But at least I can say that we brought in 2011 with a couple 100 other people who included a retired Lieutenant Govenor General, Miss Canada, Miss Toronto and half the Toronto Mafia!

There were however other people not part of the aforementioned groups and quite a few couples, especially sitting right around us.  What did surprise me however was the number of couples around us with mobile phones with them.  Out of 5 couples sitting directly around us two of them had phones in use all night and I am not talking about just one but each person of that couple were using their phones.  There were also two other couples who had a least one phone on the go.

So my question is, what ever happened to the art of conversation?  It became so ridiculous when the guy beside us leaned forward and said to his wife "That was a funny one and I just sent it to you!"  I wanted to lean over and ask him what was so funny and if it was really that funny why couldn't he tell his wife through the spoken word and not via an electronic message.  It became even more crazy when I realized that even though there was a disc jockey playing music this guys wife was listening to the ipod on her phone!  To top that she got up to dance still listening to her ipod.  That would have been interesting to see which beat she was going to dance to.

I think that this world has gotten so caught up in technology that we have forgotten how to connect to people face to face.  Just think what our world would be like if we all spoke to one another instead of emailed or texted each other.  Oh that's right we used to do that!  And I honestly think that the world was a much better place.  Mind you here I am using electronics to get my message out to you.  But that is different!!

That night, Russ and I probably had more conversation than we normally do!  And I have to thank those people for that as some of the conversation revolved around them!  But it made us realize how much we don't talk to one another, something that I want to change.

The art of conversation is a gift and one that leads us to other joys in live such as friendship and love.  Our life here is as temporary as each floating cloud, so don't waste time not talking to each other.  Each day give something of yourself to people in your life through the Art of Conversation.

The Gift

Well the silly season has come and gone and I am sure that everyone has received many gifts that they can or can't use.  It seems that we spend so much time looking for that "perfect gift" for our husbands, wives, parents, kids and friends.  But do we ever get it right?

It is funny how stressed we get at this time of year when trying to decide what to buy for people.  I usually have all my shopping done relatively early because I usually have to send it to Canada.  But this year because I was going to be with my family I decided to wait until I got to Toronto.  Wow what a mistake!!!  I try to avoid shopping centres during these times but couldn't help but be in them this year.  Never again!!!

Christmas is supposed to be a joyous occasion but you would never know it looking at the people who were out shopping for "The Gift".  I certainly didn't see many smiles on faces or laughter in the crowds, just people who wanted to find "The Gift" so they could get the hell out of the mall and back to the comfort of their home!  But it just wasn't in the malls it was on the roads as well.  People in such a hurry that no laws would stop them from getting what they needed to so they could once again get home.  It really doesn't matter if you speed, go through red lights, not stop at stop signs and god forbid you should have to signal!  No get there fast so you can get home.

It wasn't just on the shoppers face that I noticed this but the staff in the stores.  I was in Walmart and asked an employee how much something was.  Jokingly I said to her "Oh I thought it might be free because there is no price on it".  Her reply "As far as I am concerned you can take everything for free, I am over it!"  She then proceeded to get the price for me.  It wasn't like I didn't try to smile, wish people a Merry Christmas and say have a good day...they just weren't interested.

So after all this excitement of Christmas shopping, how many of us got "The Gift" that we wanted or can use?  I know that this is probably a touchy subject for many because the last thing we want to do is upset people.  But what do we do with the things that we really can't use?  I for one was impressed with the gifts that I got!  I am able to use every single one of them!  Oh except maybe the Tim Horton's Donuts gift card!  But I know someone who will love it when I leave.

There are two gifts that I received that were not bought and they are gifts that I will forever cherish.  The first was from my sister Cindy.  For those of you who don't know her she is a film maker, and an award winning film maker.  Because most of her documentaries are only shown in North America I have never seen any of them except maybe 2 and she gave me a DVD holder of every film she has written, produced and directed!  I can't wait to sit down and have a movie night...so beware friends in Australia!

The other and probably best gift was the gift of spending time with my family.  Not just my immediate family but aunts, uncles, cousins and second cousins!  But add to that my friends (who are family to me!) who I saw while here in Canada.  Absolutely nothing can compare to the time I spent with everyone!

I really hope that everyone was able to receive "The Gift" of love, friendship and memories like I did while here.  There is nothing in the world like it and you don't have to be in hurry to get there, but you can savour the smiles and cheers that goes along with spending time with those people most important to you.

Happiness

The dictionary states that the word Happy means - enjoying or expressing pleasure and contentment.

What makes us "Happy"?  Everyone is different in regards to happiness. 
Things that make us happy: life, love, family, friends, sunrise, sunset, money, food, pets and the list could go on and on!  "Being happy has to come from within and you certainly can't rely on someone else for your own happiness".  This was a statement made to me by my sister, Cindy, the other day and it got me thinking.

Happiness to me is giving.  Giving to others and to see their eyes light up, but does that not create happiness for them?  If so is this not relying on someone for happiness?  I think what Cindy was trying to tell me is that our own internal happiness can't come from an external place, which also goes back to the dictionary definition of happy as "enjoying or expressing pleasure and contentment".  I believe that before we can find that happiness in giving to others we have to be content with the person we are.

So in saying that, I think there are two kinds of happiness.  That internal happiness with your life, which goes right to your soul, and then the external things that make each moment of your life happy.

There is a wall hanging in my sisters house (which I gave her!) that says:

Happiness is not so much in having as sharing,
We make a living by what we get,
We make a life by what we give.

So my wish for everyone this Christmas is that you will all find pleasure and contentment in your own lives so that you too will find happiness in giving.

Welcome Home

-5 degrees celcius!!!  What a welcome home to Canada.  When we left Melbourne it was close to 30 celcius so the change was drastic on the system!  But welcome home indeed.

I love flying and love it even more when you get bumped up to Premium Economy.  Now for those out there who don't understand "Premium", it is not Business class but the seats are just as big and roomy with amazing service!  I had just become a member of the Qantas Club so I think that helped.  The flight from Melbourne to Los Angeles was 13 1/2 hours with an hour waiting on the tarmac in Melbourne because of the thunderstorm that was raging around us.  But that 13 1/2 hours absolutely flew by (no pun intended!).  Unfortunately we were back in the cattle class on our 4 1/2 hour American Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Toronto and believe me that flight felt much longer than the first one!

The one thing that bothers me though...the cost of the flights to Canada were extraodinary, well over $3,000 each and we still had to pay for food on American Airlines!  Even had to pay for a blanket and pillow if you wanted one...what is with that?!

Upon arriving in Toronto I found that my suitcase had been absolutely smashed!!! the entire structure of the case was smashed and the only thing holding it together was the material.  So much for claiming on my 10 year warranty as there is no way I am going to be able to get it back home.  At least the zipper had held and all my stuff was still encased!

But after all of this the best thing is walking out of the arrival doors, you actually feel like a star coming through those doors...everyone waiting for someone.  We were basically some of the first out and it is wonderful to see smiling faces waiting for you!  I hadn't seen my sister Cindy, my nephew Chris and my neice Lea for 19 months.  Yes we had talked on the phone but it isn't the same as putting your arms around someone and really squeezing!  Mind you with all the coats and clothing they were wearing it was hard to find the body to hug!!  It was a wonderful feeling though.

We headed to my mom and dad's place, where we are spending our first 5 nights, and once again had the joy of hugging them!  I love "welcome home" hugs!  But to get there had to travel along Highway 401, well I forgot what it was like!  I have decided that we don't have traffic in Melbourne...at all. 8 lanes going east and 8 going west...stopped!  Amazing.  But we finally did make it through and I have decided that I will never again complain about traffic in Melbourne.

The first few days have been a bit of a whirlwind.  The second day we were here there was a party with all my work collegues from the past.  People who were police officers, civilians and immigrations officers that I worked with in another life.  Some of them I hadn't seen in 20 years!  What a great night put on by my dear friend Deb.  It was great catching up with so many people that I hadn't seen in ages and it was amazing that it seemed like I had never been gone at all!  We just picked up where we had left off, other than catching up on what we had all been doing during those years.  I must admit though that there were a few faces I knew but the names had escaped me.  I just blame it on the MS when in fact it is probably just old age and passing time!  But it didn't matter because eventually all those names came back to me. (photos are soon to follow)

We are only on day 4 and already I feel like we have done so much, with so much more to do.  And the weather has decided that it is going to make it hard for us to drive anywhere!  There is a huge storm on the way with rain, freezing rain and snow and it isn't technically winter yet.  I don't think Russ is too impressed, but we will get through it! 

However the weather doesn't really matter when you get the time to spend with family and friends.  I love being "Welcomed Home"!

There Really is a Santa

I feel like a little girl again!

It has been a long time since I was really, I mean REALLY, excited about Christmas!  I have been living in Australia now for just over 16 years and I still can't get used to a hot Christmas.  It just doesn't seem normal to me.  That is not surprising since I spent 36 years having a very cold Christmas.



Growing up Christmas was a really special time in our family.  The whole family on my mom's side would get together every Christmas and have it together.  That is my immedicate family, my mom's parents and her 3 sisters with their families.  All my cousins on that side were female, so the men in the family were outnumbered!  We would gather at one house all of us, sleeping wherever we could find a spot.  My four cousins, my sister and I would always put on a play for the family and it was always the same play..."T'was the Night Before Christmas".  We had this play down pat!!  Each one of us had our part and over the years we became experts at playing those parts!



Marg-Rheta the little one in front

Each year we gave the part of ALL 12 reindeers to my youngest cousin Marg-Rheta!  That poor kid had to be outside and run past a window of whoever's house we were at, 12 times!!!  It didn't matter how cold it was outside she had to do it.  I think the coldest was about -35 celcius!!!  But she was a trooper and did it every year!  Or maybe we just bullied her into it!  But I have a family who embraces Christmas and what it means to have a family that loves each other. 

I can still remember Grandma with my dad, leading us in Christmas Carol's, and remember the one year Christmas was held at our house that the power went off.  How do you cook a 30lb turkey with no electricity.  Nothing to worry about...just wait six hours for the power to come back on, then eat late!  What to do in the meantime...have a few drinks in front of the fireplace!  Grandma got a bit tipsy, but boy could she dance and sing then!!  I will never forget her leading her daughters doing the can-can!  And Grandpa upset that "His Betty" was tipsy!

For the first time in 16 years I am going home for Christmas!  I am so excited because everyone is going to be at my sister's for Christmas dinner.  My parents, my sister and her children, my aunts and uncles, my cousins and their children.  The only sad thing is that Marg-Rheta won't be there as we lost her last year to cancer.  But I can see her so vividly as each reindeer, still in my mind and I can see her singing, with her most amazing voice.  I am sure that there will be tears and there will be laughs and through all of it Marg-Rheta will be there with us in spirit.

Repeating what I said as I opened this entry...I feel like a little girl again.  I haven't been this excited in a long, long time!  I feel like there really is a Santa this year!!!

Things Don't Always Go According to Plan

As we are growing up and getting to the end of our schooling, deciding what we want to do with our lives we plan everything.  We decide things like...Do I go to university or start working or maybe travel?  What do I study?  What will I do for a living?

I did exactly that and had my whole life planned out...or so I thought.  But just remember...things don't always go according to plan.

I planned my working life, joining the Toronto Police Force, following in the footsteps of my parents.  Moving through different areas of "The Job" and thinking that this would be my life long career..  But remember...things don't always go according to plan.

I found that I was tired of "The Job", travelled to Australia to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and ultimately met my husband.  A move halfway around the world was the next step.  This was certainly not what I had expected in my life, but remember...things don't always go according to plan!

On April 23rd, 1998 at 2:15 p.m. I was bluntly told "You have MS, go home and put your affairs in order before you become incapacitated".  Boy things certainly don't always go according to plan!

With all these changes in our life's plan, the actual changes aren't important but the way we deal with them is.  We can decide to curl up and die or we can embrace them.  Some of the changes that we face are good and some are bad and life isn't always going to be fair.  How we deal with those changes is what is really going to make the difference.

So to all those parents whose children are about to embark on adulthood please make sure that they know that things don't always go according to plan.  But that isn't a bad thing.  Make sure they understand that it is important to grasp every opportunity that comes their way, never give in to self doubt, ignore critics and chase their dreams...

Because sometimes in life things can change and don't always go according to plan!