So I've really had a hard look at myself and tried to figure out why! I have decided that I can't figure it out, it's just there. At first it was really distracting and I decided that I was wasting energy on worrying about being nervous. It was time to figure out how to work with that nervous energy and make it help me instead of letting it hinder me.
So I have decided that a friend of mine, Tina, has the right answer. She has been following a project called Mindful in May. I certainly haven't done what she has done for the whole month but I have decided to use my mind to take control of those nerves. It hasn't been easy, but is getting easier. I am teaching myself to pick a positive, valuable and magnificent image and in my mind put it into action. I have let it fill my thoughts and moments. It wouldn't take a brain surgeon to work out what I have been putting in the forefront of my mind...winning...standing on the top of the podium. But the important part of this is actually trying to see and feel myself riding the race. I have found that it doesn't take those nerves away but teaches me how to use them.
So as I try to desperately keep my total luggage weight to 35kg, I am heading over to Europe to race to the best of my ability, nerves and all! I know that I have trained smart and hard. I am about to put my dreams into actions and go forward in the knowledge that I'm ready to let those nerves work for me, so that those dreams come to life!