The other day I was at Latrobe University speaking with Physiotherapy students. We were discussing communication between patients and clinicians and how to get patients motivated. One of them asked me a question…”Why is it that you are so motivated?”
This question got me thinking and I had a really hard look at myself. At first I didn’t know the answer but the more I thought about it the more I realized that I am motivated by fear. Yes Fear!
But what is it that I am afraid of? There are a couple of different things, the fear of not doing something to the best of my ability and the fear of my MS getting worse.
Fear is a primitive emotion and it causes us to obsess over even the littlest things. I know that no one is perfect, but if I am going to do something then I want to do it to the best of my ability. I am motivated not by ruthless determination to the tasks I undertake, but by the fear that I will fail at them.
Then of course there is Multiple Sclerosis. I think that the worst thing about having MS is the unpredictability of the disease. It creates a world of never-ending uncertainty. I think that subconsciously I push myself to my limits because of the fear of not being able to do the things that I do, in the future. I want to be able to accomplish my goals before I’m not able to. I am not saying that my MS will get worse, no one can tell me that, but it is the fear of the unknown and what can happen.
So is it bad to have fear to keep me motivated? I really can’t answer that question right now. Maybe I need to realize that by continuing to strive to my best potential that I am actually overcoming that fear. I don’t want to believe that all my motivation is driven by fear and maybe I am slowly overcoming this.
Nelson Mandela once said “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."
One day maybe I will be able to say that my motivation comes from the conquering of that fear. But until then I will continue to do what I do because of it.
So what motivates you?
Carol This is a nice post. Life is a journey and we are learning and changing all the time. Although you may think the motivation is driven by fear but it may be driven by love for life and love to be able to do thing that we don't appreciate until we loose it. The ability to use hand, walk, talk and think are gift but I don't appreciate simple things in life until we loose them.
ReplyDeleteWhen you were growing up, I watched you persevere in everything you did.
ReplyDeleteYour determination made you who you are today.
We certainly do take things for granted and when we are diagnosed with a medical problem we try to make the most of it and strive to overcome our fears.
I always new your motivation was partly fear of what might happen if you stopped your physical activities.
I know you will never give up.
My motivation believe it or not comes from you.You inspired me to do my best in swimming.
I think of you as I do my laps and realize how lucky I am to have a daughter with such strength and fortitude.
I push myself, to make sure I stay physically fit and to live a long healthy life.
Thankyou Carol for your inspiration.
Love,
Mom